


How Barry Allen Epically Failed At Not Wanting To Bone His Best Friend's Boyfriend

by YogiNinja



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-02-28 16:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2738933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YogiNinja/pseuds/YogiNinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things to know about Barry Allen:<br/>1. He's The Flash.<br/>2. He's in love with Iris West.<br/>3. That doesn't stop him from wanting to fuck her boyfriend through the floor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fic in AGES. So, apologies in advance for the weird flow and (maybe) shittiness. This was supposed to be a one shot, but I got a bit of a block and now it's a short multi-chaptered one. Events will follow canon; in the beginning at least. The story is unbeta'ed.  
> Thank you!

There are certain things you should know about Barry Allen.

The first is that he's The Flash. He runs around in a red leather tights fighting metahumans and basically being awesome. He's kinda like Harry Potter, y'know, lightening strike, Chosen One, saves the city on a reg.

(Also, he has a Hermione Granger and a Dumbledore (Voldemort?) to support and guide him.)

The second one is that is that Iris West is the love if his life. 

Which brings us to the third; loving Iris West didn't stop him from wanting to fuck her pretty-boy detective boyfriend through the floor.

***

Barry dislikes Eddie on principle. He's with the woman he loves, hating him is a given.

Eddie doesn't seem particularly threatened by Barry, which probably doesn't say much about his detective skills. However, Iris has also been quite blind to his feelings. And  _she_  has known him for almost his entire life.

On the other hand, he  _is_  bothered by the Flash. Which makes sense, since Iris looks at him in a way she never looks at Barry; with admiration and a little bit of lust. And despite Caitlin's very sensible and repeated deterrents, Barry can't seem to keep away from her and how he feels when that look is directed at him.

What he isn't prepared for is how genuinely  _nice_  Eddie is. He seems to want to hang out with him, get to know him. It's vexing because every time that happens, he feels a little twinge of guilt about his masked meetings with Iris.

Not enough to stop, though.

 

***

The metal meta-bully strikes and Eddie is really pissed off about Tony Woodward and his Iris hurting ways. Which Barry completely agrees with. However, he's not sure why this mutual understanding has to be reinforced with the help of a Dudebro-bag punching-bonding session. But, it might help him be an awesome-r Flash. So, he goes with it.

They're shooting the shit, bonding(!?) over getting bullied while Barry lightly punches the bag, held tight by Eddie and then-

'Harder.'

Weak punch.

Eddie gets this  _expression_  on his face, his voice becomes huskier, 'Harder.'

And Barry, well, he gets this split second image of Eddie beneath him, sweaty, naked, his face twisted in pleasure, sunlight glinting off his golden skin, demanding Barry to go harder and harder and-

He punches through the bag.

 

*** 

Barry chucks that thought into a locked box in the deepest, darkest corner of his mind. It's a fluke anyway, something brought upon due to exertion and a really long dry spell. The idea that he'd ever be attracted to Eddie is preposterous.

Right? Right.

 

.....not really.

 


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I wanted to get another chapter out before tonight's episode cos I have a feeling the writers are gonna try to burn this ship before it even takes off. Which, ugh.   
> As always, apologies in advance for any choppy sentence structure.   
> Enjoy!

Barry Allen hasn't had sex in over a year.

It's not because he's unattractive or lacks game. In fact, he has been told to have a certain "adorkable" charm that makes women want to cuddlesex him. And then feed him pancakes.

However, circumstances (read: Iris love and lightening coma) have made it impossible for him to get off with someone else for far too long.

In truth, since becoming the Flash, he hasn't been able to jerk off properly either.

Finishing too quickly and penile friction burn are enough to put off a guy from masturbation for eternity.

Which is a crying shame because right now, he's terrified of having sex with another person.

What if he loses control? What if he goes too fast and finishes in 2 minutes? What if he has a  _vibrating dick_?!

He doesn't want his secret identity revealed because he has a sex toy emulator in his pants. The ladies might love it, but he'll never be taken seriously again.

So, he endures. And his libido starts going bonkers.

Before, he used to only fantasize about Iris. Sometimes, Transformers Era-Megan Fox popped in to mix things up.

Now, everything is a trigger. Caitlin in her tight dresses, Felicity in hers. Oliver Queen in his Arrow costume. And those are the tame, understandable ones.

One day, he sees Captain Singh with his boyfriend and his mind puts them in an epic gay porn scenario. He feels bile rising in his throat, but that doesn't stop the spike of heat from crawling up his spine.

So, when the thought that was supposed to have stayed buried in a lockbox in the deepest corner of his mind refuses to do so, Barry gives up.

It's like the gates of hell have burst open. Every time Eddie smiles, or stands in the sun, or chases a perp, or lays a friendly hand on Barry's arm; his mind comes up with a plethora of absolutely filthy things he'd like to do to him.

Eddie above him, beneath him, on his knees, moaning his name.

_Naked_.

Always naked.

Barry finally  _gets_  hate sex.

Iris still occupies pole position in his fantasies. But, they aren't as  _dirty_  as the ones starring Eddie. The only time he doesn't fantasize about either of them is when they're together. Bitter resentment overwhelms any other feelings he might have.

Barry tries to combat his thoughts of Eddie by visiting Iris as The Flash more frequently.

It helps a little.

 ***

Lightening Farook strikes at the worst possible time. Tockman has taken Joe, Iris and Eddie hostage. And Barry is stuck and _useless_ while the people he loves are in danger.

When he finally gets his powers back, everything is over. He rushes to the precinct with a heart heavy with dread. And when he sees Eddie first, hurt but alive, the ball of anxiety in his chest loosens. But, that's nothing compared to the staggering sense of relief he feels on seeing Iris and Joe unharmed.

****

He gets red flowers for Eddie. Because he feels guilty that he wasn't there to stop the bullet. And it's the right thing to do when visiting the injured. 

( ~~And maybe because he just wanted to.~~ )

Yup. Those are the only reasons and anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional.

Eddie on pain meds is hilarious. He's all giggly, and 'Hey, Alleeeenn,' and 'Flowers! That's nice!'

And Barry, well, he's hit by this sudden _surge_ of affection for the ridiculously cute man on the bed.

Which is adequately horrifying. 

It's one thing to picture Eddie naked. Finding him _adorable_ is a whole different, terrifying ball game.

So, Barry does the only sensible thing.

He locks that shit down and zips off to meet Iris as the Flash. 


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are absolutely awesome. I didn't expect this kind of response, seriously. Thank you very much!  
> So, here's another chapter. Trigger warnings for some violent sexual thoughts. (Sorry!)  
> Unbeta'd as always. Enjoy!

Barry is so fucking _angry_.

Fuck Oliver. Who does he think he is? Waltzing in like he owns this fucking city. Like it's his job to protect it.

Treating Barry like an incompetent child who can barely feed himself, much less save people.

And _ooh_ Oliver Queen and his _muscles_ and his _perfect face_ and his _perfect bounce-a-penny-off-of-it ass_ and his _I'm-on-every-fucking-person-I-meet's cheat list_. Fuck him, seriously.

You know what, fuck Iris too. Fuck her willful blindness. Fuck her for being interested in _everyone_ except Barry.

First Eddie, then Ollie.

Barry is just the useless fucking friend/brother, waiting in the wings for meager scraps of her attention. Always the sidekick, never the hero.

Which is fucking ironic since he is the biggest hero out there and she doesn't even fucking _know_.

Well, fuck her and her fucking boyfriend too. The useless pretty boy who gets everything he _ever_ wanted. God, he hates him.

And _wants_ him. So much.

It's all his fault, the piece of shit, for making him feel that way. For distracting him from Iris and for coming in between both of them and what's _meant to be_.

And now, he's got a _fucking_ _anti-Flash_ task force! Like Barry hasn't been _busting his balls_ trying to keep this city safe, hasn't nearly died _multiple times_ fighting a bad guy.

_Like he hasn't been working to make sure that Eddie gets another night with his girlfriend!_

Well, if Flash-The Public Menace is what he wants, that's what he's gonna get.

Looks like it's time for the task force to begin earning its keep.

***

 

“I heard you’ve been looking for me.”

Barry stands over Eddie's prone body, reveling in his fear and pain. That's where he should be, that's what he _deserves_.

He'll always be beneath him, can never be better than the Flash. 

“You think you can just come along and get to have whatever you want?!”

Where the _hell_ does he get off? Stealing Iris from him, being condescendingly nice, _making Barry want him_. 

His eyes trail along Eddie's body, and the roiling, writhing pit of rage in his stomach suffuses with lust.

Which makes him _furious_ , makes him want to hold Eddie down and _take._  

Make him feel like he does, the anger, the misery, the pain, the fear, the hunger.

He's already halfway there, why not take him further?

He's seeing red and Iris' annoying nattering in the background isn't gonna deter him from what he wants.

It _is_ unfortunate that Oliver sweeps him away before he has barely begun.

Doesn't matter, he'll just have to kill Oliver before teaching Eddie his lesson.

***

  
There's a fight and disco lights and Barry surfaces out of what seemed to be a waking nightmare with his head spinning.

Oliver looks hurt, concerned, and _finally_ relieved when Barry clutches his head and predicts a special kind of hangover in the near future.

Joe and Dr. Wells are sporting similar looks of worry and Barry can't remember when he acquired two gay adoptive fathers. It's kinda nice, though.

Barry doesn't get hit by the full scope of his thoughts and actions in his mind-whammied state until the van is speeding away towards Bivolo.

He has to make them stop the car in order to throw up the entire contents of his stomach on the side of the road.

***

  
Because it's easier, he apologizes to Oliver first. Oliver is gracious about it because he's the only _gets it_. Who completely understands the life they live and the things they have to do.

_Maybe,_ it's also because Oliver used to be a shitty human being, who made shitty decisions and loads of mistakes he had to apologize for.

Whatever the reason, Barry's grateful. It makes a tiny dent in the mountain of guilt and self loathing he feels.

He goes to Iris next, and she shuts him down, asks him not to contact her again. It's nothing he didn't expect. He betrayed her trust and shattered every hope that she had. Hope for a hero, a saviour.

He deserves every bit of it.

***

  
The Flash goes MIA for the next week. 

Barry's terrified of himself, of what he can do, the power he has, his thoughts and how _close_ he came to putting them into action.

He broaches the idea for rebuilding the cold gun. Dr. Wells emphatically refuses and forbids him from considering it again.

Work is torture. He can barely bring himself to be in the same _room_ as Eddie, much less talk to him. He manages to communicate anything necessary through Joe. 

Joe seems to understand, but doesn't put up with it for long. He says that Barry needs to get over it, it'll start to look suspicious otherwise.

And he's right. Every interaction with Eddie is _fraught_ and he's starting to notice. When he has to talk to him, Barry is curt and can't look him in the eye. He makes excuses to not have longer conversations than necessary and refuses offers of friendly drinks and boxing sessions.

Eddie starts off looking confused, then slightly hurt and finally moves to anger and resignation.

And Barry slips deeper into the vortex of shame and self-hatred.

***

  
He takes a couple of days off and escapes to Starling City to assist Oliver and Felicity. Defusing a bunch of bombs in the nick of time, some advice, and a good old-fashioned knockout with Oliver helps.

He returns to Central City determined to put things right.

***

 

He breaks into Eddie's house. He knows it's not a good idea, especially since he wants the gun-owning-police-detective-who-created-a-task-force-to-hunt-him-down to be receptive to his apology.

But, it's not like he can knock on his door in his Flash costume, while holding some apology flowers and expect to get invited in and _not_ get shot in the head on sight.

Therefore, breaking and entering it is.

He can hear the shower running, so he waits in the living room for Eddie to finish up.

Eddie walks out of the room wearing a soft-looking faded white t-shirt and blue pyjama bottoms while toweling his hair dry. Barry lets his eyes linger over him for a few seconds before guiltily snapping back into reality and-

"Eddie Thawne."

Eddie whirls around, arm automatically reaching for the not-present-firearm on his waist before his eyes settle on the Flash.

Barry can see the shock melting, anger and fear hardening his face.

"What are you doing here? What do you _want?_ ," he spits out, inching towards the front door.

Barry holds up the gun belt apologetically, 'You're searching for this? Sorry I had to take it. I had to make sure you'd listen to me before you started shooting.'

Eddie stops moving, his hands are coiled in restrained fury and he barks out, 'Talk.'

"I wanted to apologize...for what happened that night. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I didn't mean to-"

"What? _You didn't mean to pull me out of a moving car? Throw me around? Threaten me in front of my girlfriend?_ Attack me? _You didn't mean to do any of that?"_

"I didn't! I was...drugged. That wasn't me, I'd _never_ do that, never hurt you. You _have_ to believe me. I'm so sorry-"

Sorry for more than he could imagine. Sorry for his _dirty, despicable_ thoughts. Sorry for what could have happened. Just _sorry_.

Eddie regards him seriously for a few seconds before his face slowly begins to soften. A small smile lightens his handsome features.

"Yeah, okay. I believe you."

It's like a huge weight on Barry's chest has finally lifted, can finally _breathe_. He can't stop the giant beam from breaking across his face.

"You do? Thank you! I promise that-"

And Eddie, well- he _whips_ out a gun from Gawd-knows-where, aims it at the Flash's head, and _shoots_.

He's never been more grateful for being faster than a speeding bullet as he is right then, zipping out of Eddie's apartment.

***

 

So. 

Apology not accepted.

 

....can't say that he didn't see that coming.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys think I need to up the rating or is it appropriate for the story so far?


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm sorry that this took so long, was going through some personal shit.  
> Thank you for the overwhelming support and encouragement, I love y'all! I shall endeavour to publish the next chapter ASAP.  
> Enjoy!

Barry realizes he needs to get his shit together.

So, he begins by finally asking Cisco for advice on the  ~~jerking off~~   ~~masturbating~~   ~~self pleasuring~~  taking care of himself thing.

After the problem is conveyed through some carefully worded phrases, eyebrow waggling and hand gestures and followed by Cisco's hastily muffled snorts of a laughter; he's presented with a solution.

Go smoke some pot and practice.

Correction: smoke lots of chemically enhanced marijuana from Cisco's bong, and  _then_  practice.

Oddly, it works.

Barry can finally relax and do his thing because everything is slow and lovely.

( ~~He can also vibrate his dick only when he wants to. Which is pretty awesome and might be handy sometime~~ )

The absence of constant sexual frustration helps a lot. He can think clearly, perform his duties as the Flash better and most importantly, there's a considerable reduction in the number of times Barry imagines Eddie in various compromising positions.

Things are better between them now. Barry feels less guilty about the Bivolo debacle after apologizing, getting shot at and taking these steps. Eddie seems a little befuddled by Barry's sudden turnaround but graciously, doesn't question it. Christmas is approaching and they're slowly returning to their status quo; Barry's begun to enjoy Eddie's company, their now-regular sparring sessions, Eddie's radiant smiles, their growing camaraderie, his dedication to his job, how fucking  _beautiful_ he is....

...and that's when Barry realizes he's just gone and developed  _feelings_  for his best friend's boyfriend.

He promptly loses his shit.

 

****

Barry spends the rest of the day cloistered in the office, quietly hyperventilating over this  ~~not-so~~  new development.

However, with the aid of some generous helpings of ice cream, Iris-and-Barry reminiscences and  ~~self delusion~~  introspection, Barry reaches the following conclusion:

Iris is his OTL. His feelings for Eddie are kinda like his feelings for Felicity. Sure, he's attracted to both of them, but neither can ever replace or eclipse what he feels for Iris. His feelings for Felicity didn't change anything, so neither will this, right?

Right.

Satisfied with his reasoning, Barry relaxes and gets on with planning an amazing, completely-appropriate-for-friends gift for Iris.

A wedding band.

_Yeah._

 

****

For Barry, Christmas at the West household has always been the best time of year. After his mom died and his dad went to prison, it was the first time he felt genuinely happy.

Iris' joy at Barry's gift is enough for this Christmas to be on its way to becoming the best one ever.

Until Eddie shows up and his face falls when he sees the necklace.

Barry knows that his gift isn't exactly  _proper_ , but he's tired of the constant lies and hiding and his confusing emotions. The gift isn't just a gift, it's a statement, an assurance of his prevailing feelings for Iris.

Going by the vise that clamps around his heart when he sees Eddie with her, he's not sure it's working.

 

****

The Man in The Yellow Suit strikes and Team Flash is working overtime in order to capture him. Barry's chomping at his bit, waiting to  _finally_  take down the man who destroyed his life.

This is when Iris comes in to drop her bomb: Eddie and her are moving in together.

Barry is barely able to keep the shock and heartbreak off of his face when Iris says, 'Eddie thought you'd feel a little weird about it.'

_Why would Eddie think that?!_

'He thinks that you  _like_  me, in a romantic way. Honestly, it feels silly even suggesting it....'

And Barry is suddenly  _furious_. And hurt. Embarrassed too.

Everybody around him; Caitlin, Cisco, Wells and  _even_  Eddie, know how he feels about her.

And Iris, his best friend, the only person he's ever truly loved, finds the notion  _ridiculous_.

He stutters out some lame excuse and she readily accepts, her face lighting up with relief.

As she walks out, willfully blind, Barry realizes something.

It's time to let her go.

 

****

There's the beatdown at the stadium and manipulating McGee to lend them the tachyon prototype and planning and plotting and setting up the trap.

Between all of this, he visits his father, who tries to get him out of his Oliver Queen style self-flagellation funk, which unfortunately, doesn't really work.

However, he does encourage him to tell Iris about his feelings and to finally  _live_.

That works.

 

****

When he embraces Iris, it's for strength, for love and it's a goodbye.

He knew how this was going to go, from the minute he told her that he loved her and she misinterpreted it, through the confession and until he leaves.

Despite this, her pain, disbelief and silent rejection don't hurt any less. It's still one if the worst experiences of his life.

But one he forges ahead with.

He apologizes to her. For everything, his lies, his cowardice, the pain he's causing her, his timing, for not being the brother she expected, for wanting her boyfriend ( ~~maybe more than he wanted her~~ ),

For everything.

It's agony, but at the same time, it's closure.

 

****

He only _just_  manages to save Eddie and Joe from the Man in The Yellow Suit, distracting him by taking the fight outside. And then This-Boy-Is-On-Fire Ronnie shows up, saving him from becoming a human shaped splotch on the road.

Which is fantastic for him but excruciating for Caitlin when her undead fiancè tells her not to contact him again.

Essentially, it's a shitty time for love at The Flash Lab.

 

****

When Barry arrives at the West Christmas party, things are awkward between them. Iris is on Eddie's lap, both of them incandescently beautiful and sickeningly loved up.

Barry congratulates both of them for moving in together while Iris gazes at him, her face a mixture of pain, pity and discomfort. Eddie, who doesn't seem to have noticed anything amiss, beams at him in gratitude.

Barry isn't sure whether he wants to punch him or kiss him, so he just forces a smile back.

The rest of the party seems to be enjoying themselves as they gather around the Christmas tree. When Barry and Iris lock eyes while Joe sets the angel, he feels oddly free. 

She knows. There's no artifice and they  _finally_  understand each other completely.

She breaks her gaze and Barry glances up to find Eddie staring at him, his face a mask of curiosity and contemplation. He seems to find whatever he's searching for in Barry's face because a slow smile spreads across his. Barry can feel himself flushing, his palms sweating and his heart threatening to beat out of his chest. Barry's reaction doesn't seem to have escaped Eddie's attention; his eyes widen in surprise and something that looks like.... _hunger_ flashes over his face before he turns away.

Oh, God. Barry is  _fucked_.


	5. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay and thank you for all the comments and kudos!  
> I'm not sure that I captured Cisco well. But, I hope it's okay.  
> Please enjoy!

Cisco Ramòn is the Grand Supreme Genius Overlord of the Universe. And anyone who thinks otherwise is fucked in the head.

Or a woman.

Which reminds him, when was the last time he had sex? Or even went on a date?!

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

At least he's not alone. Caitlin's been single since Ronnie 'died' and since his zombiefication, Cisco's pretty sure that romance is the furthest thing from her mind. Dr. Wells gives out a total Professor X vibe, so maybe he's having some hot wheelchair sex. But, he'd rather not go there. Especially after the Charles/Erik NSFW fanart that turned up on his tumblr dashboard.

~~And how it threw him back to the time he caught Hartley Doucheway _in flagrante delicto_  with the good doctor. ~~

As for Barry, he needed his 'help' a few weeks ago and Cisco's quite certain that no one else is spanking his monkey for him.

Which brings him to the reason why he's the GSGOOTU (apart from being the Flash's sidekick,  kicking ass at science and owning a 1978 12 Back Han Solo figure in mint condition); he's figured it out.

By himself.

And he'd like to state for the record that NOBODY did.

_Barry totally wants to bone his One True Love/best friend's boyfriend._

No, this is not a figment of a drug-fuelled imagination, (although he did smoke like, half a joint before the Eureka! Moment) there's evidence.

And he's gonna prove it.

(And maybe, just  _maybe_  also prove that these feelings aren't entirely one sided.)

 

****

 

**HYPOTHESIS : Barry Allen wants to enter into a physical encounter/romantic relationship with Eddie Thawne.**

 

The subject, Barry Allen (BA) has been in love with the object, Detective Eddie Thawne's (ET) girlfriend, one Iris West (IW) since childhood. Unfortunately, BA was a bit of a pussy when it came to the matters of the heart. So, he never expressed his feelings to her. Also, IW suffers from a strong case of selective and willful blindness. Therefore, she has been unsuccessful in discovering the true nature of the subject's emotions. 

The observer,  _yo_ , Cisco Ramòn a.k.a. GSGOOTU, will now present evidence to support his claim and also prove that despite the heart wanting what the heart wants, sometimes, the penis can be a party pooper.

 

Exhibit A:

I met ET for the first time when BA decided that both of his friend groups should hang out together. He walked into the bar with IW and Caitlin Snow (CS) remarked on his attractive visage. Barry's face went through various contortions before settling on his 'I'm Totally Jealous But Vainly Trying To Hide It' face. This face turns up in a lot of subsequent interactions with the object and his lady.

The subject was also in a bit of a mood once he realized that he'd have to endure the giggly couple without the awesome effects of alcohol. Being a great friend, I offered him a j I keep in handy at all times. Mary Sue looked horrified, like I'd offered him a handy j instead. Hanging out with the police and this responsible hero business has turned him into such a Debbie Downer. Yeesh.

Anyway, ET was trying to impress Iris with his mad dart throwing skillz while BA scoffed and rolled his eyes at Eddie's behaviour.

However, that didn't stop him from checking out Eddie's _culo_ every time he bent over.

 

Exhibit B:

BA's childhood bully gets endowed with Colossus-style powers, (also, why the fuck are all metahumans, except Barry and Bette, such evil assholes?!) and Barry seems to be unable to fight him off. However, one afternoon, he turns up sweaty, in his gym clothes and when questioned, flushes red and mutters something about 'Eddie' and 'fighting' before changing the subject.

Because I have a nose like a bloodhound and Felicity's kickass computer program, I hacked into the precinct's internal security cameras and hit jackpot.

Although there wasn't any audio, it was pretty evident that  _sparring_  wasn't all that was going on. The eye-fucking could probably be seen from the moon.

BA also punched through the bag, which is as everyone knows, is a prime example of Sexual Tension Induced Snapping.

 

Exhibit C:

Eddie  _touches_  Barry. A lot. Friendly pats on the chest and shoulders, bodies brushing, guiding hands-on his arms, his lower back, his  _hip._

In fact, the only person he seems to touch more than Barry, is Iris.

And every time ET touches him, Barry  _leans_ into it for a second before he makes a face and moves away.

Denial ain't just a river, man.

 

Exhibit D:

After facing off against the Reverse Flash, all of us ended up at the West house for their Christmas party (Best. Eggnog. Ever). As usual, Barry turned up after everyone else and headed towards the ThawneWest Armchair Snugglefest. Which I thought was a bit weird because whenever they're together, Barry tries to avoid them like the plague.

I was too far away and enjoying my drink  _way_  too much to make an effort to listen in. However, the conversation looked awkward _af_. 

The rest of the night wasn't any better. Iris kept giviing Barry these uncomfortable, pitying, wounded looks while keeping a rather obvious wide berth.

Barry hung out with CS, Joe and I for most of the night and diligently avoided the TWAS.

It was after midnight and everyone was sprawled in the living room, listening to Wham's 'Last Christmas'; the delish food and plentiful booze weaving its magic. BA gets up to switch the music to something  _sans_  George Michael when Eddie enters the room, carrying a replenishing bottle of wine.

And promptly crashes into Barry.

Barry's arms to be precise.

It's all very rom-commy. It was also a crying shame that everybody else was far too wasted to notice. Except yours truly, of course.

Barry automatically winds his limbs around Eddie to stabilize him and they end up embracing.

Plastered from head to toe.

_HomoSexually Charged Eye Gazing level=Infinity_.

I was torn between whipping my phone out for evidence, to confirm my hypothesis and prove my sleuthing savvy; and coughing loudly to interrupt what would definitely be  _muy malo;_  for BA, ET and IW  _and_  my innocent-never-watched-gay-porn eyes.

Eddie took the decision out of my hands when he straightened up and stepped away, all forcefully casual, and thanked Barry before walking away.

Barry looked like he wasn't sure whether to be disappointed or relieved.

Neither was I.

  
Exhibit E:

While Caitlin got kidnapped and I nearly got both of us blown to pieces, the Flash fought off both Captain Cold and his  _loco_  pyro partner Heatwave.

Thankfully, all of us escaped intact and both _pendejos_ were carted off to where they belong: prison.

Anyway, I don't think I've mentioned this before; I keep videos of The Flash's showdowns with metahumans. Y'know, for reviewing fighting techniques, for funsies and as footage for the inevitable Flash movie in which I'll be played by Diego Luna.

Before the confrontation took place, I hacked into government CCTV  _and_  private storefront security cameras for optimal viewing pleasure. 

After the 'We Survived, Yayy!' party, I decided to look through the recorded videos. And God, was the fight scary. Even though I'd seen him alive an hour ago, for a bit there, I was terrified that Barry'd become toast,.

Until Eddie Thawne showed up with his shield.

Man, was that shocking. I was under the impression that Det. Thawne hated the Flash's guts, but there he was, Captain America-ing his ass. 

And Barry seemed to get all energized, wrapping his hands around his man, carrying and then slamming him against a shielded wall. 

Because I'm a smart motherfucker, I slo-mo'ed the footage.

Barry had, very carefully, picked Eddie up and in the interim 2 seconds, super-sped his hands all over his body. Presumably checking for injuries.

I don't think Eddie missed the feeling up either. At least according to his expression.

(hint:it looked like an o-face)

 

** Conclusion: **

Hypothesis proved, bitch.

 

**Addendum** :

  * In case it isn't clear, ET totally reciprocates. 
  * ThawneBarry? DetectiveFlash? Thallen? Baddie? Titanic(Iris is the iceberg)? Decisions, decisions.
  * Don't forget to tune in for my next research paper; 'Hartley Rathaway: a whiny pissbaby or just a dick with daddy issues?' 
  * The answer is both.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations (which aren't really necessary, but still)  
> yo- I  
> culo-ass  
> muy malo-very bad  
> loco-crazy  
> pendejos-motherfuckers, assholes  
> If these are wrong, let me know. Imma Indian girl whose Spanish is an atrocity.


End file.
